Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
Dealing with your mothers comments has to be difficult. Sounds like she doesn't think about what she's sayin g before it comes out of her mouth....given your reaction I'm guessing she's been like this. All your life & you are just now trying to learn a new better way to react to her.
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Yes, she was like that as long as I can remember and she doesn't like coming out of her comfort zone to make any substantial changes. We used to fight because of her comments, but then I figured that the less she knows the less comments she can make. I started withholding information from her. I don't remember the last time I told her I had a cold (I get a pretty bad cold at least once a year. I am recovering from one at the moment), I try not to talk about my other health issues, I had a small driving accident I never told her about... I was only telling her the good things, like the trips I have taken or the nice people that I have met.
Some months ago I decided to give it a try and change this. I told her that I started taking an antidepressant to help me dealing with work. She accepted this information, took her time to process and research it, and discuss it with somebody. She would bring this up every time I would talk to her. She would tell me about the things she had read about it. She really liked discussing it and it drove me crazy. I had to stop the antidepressant and I told her. Then she criticized me for stopping it and there was another discussion.
I decided then that I should just keep some information to myself. Discussing some personal things with her just does not make me feel better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
Relationships with either insensitive people or overly sensitive people is probably the most difficult challenge in life.
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I couldn't agree more!
My husband has a good relationship with his mother. When we talk she tells us what she did. She likes hiking, cycling and ice skating, going to dance classes and she is open to new activities. She became a grandmother a couple of months ago so she is really into knitting now. When we talk to her we tell her what we did and she tells us what she did and/or what has happened in the family. I am not saying there is never any tension, but it's a kind of tension that is easy to handle. I have never seen them having a real fight like between me and my mother.