I am sorry to hear about your loss - your mother must have been a remarkable person and a great role model for you, maybe even a good support to you.

For me, anger and frustration are feelings that are real but usually something deeper is going on ... usually fear. In your particular situation, I might be feeling fearful that I wouldn't 'make it' without mom (I know this b/c I lost my mother also) and that a major depression might settle in that would be difficult to overcome.

Counseling is a great idea and I hope you can get an earlier appointment. Until then, when you find yourself feeling angry and wanting to lash out you might pause, feel the feelings no matter how painful they are, and talk with your husband about them if he is open to that. If not, do you have a good friend you can call when you need to vent? Journaling might be helpful, too.

Hugs to you. Grief is hard work.