Only_Human,

I got married in 1995. I was 45, my wife 50. We'd met three and a half years earlier and the first time I saw her, I was totally captivated. This woman whom I thought was 'the one' turned out to be more emotionally damaged and dysfunctional than me. I was naive; a fool in love, blind to her alcohol addiction and confused by her split personality; one minute loving and sweet, then her rage, anger and intense insecurity.

My bipolar illness has worsened over the past 10 years, we've been in and out of therapy and I haven't had the desire to be intimate with her in 6 years. There's a difference between being alone and lonely. For me, being alone would be wonderful. My wife told me she married because she didn't want to be alone. That's NOT a reason to get married.

You sound like a wonderful woman. Enjoy your life. Please. Don't spend your time obsessing about why you're not married, yet. Travel, have romantic flings(lots of them), seek out new adventures and things that interest you. There are women who wouldn't want anything to do with marriage or even living with a man and they have full, rich lives.

The obstacle isn't the inability to find a mate; it's the way you're viewing life. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We can be our best friend or worst enemy.