Thanks dreamrunner...I just wish that I could keep from making these mistakes everytime things seem like they are going good.... I am just sick of fu*@ing up everything and everyone's life...
Took the mania test today...again....I am more depressed than I am manic...mild to moderate mania and moderate to severe depression...How can anyone be both and not at least experience the wonderful high from being manic.
I really can't say that because I am on such a rollercoaster right now...one minute I feel good and the next several I feel like the crap you scrape off your shoes. I am just so sick of making everything a mess and never feeling normal...I always hate myself....most of the time I think the entire world would be better off without me in the world....I think it was a mistake that I even came into this world...

But don't worry bout me....today is Wed...T day...maybe he can say something to get me back on track....but I really doubt it.