I'm so tired of this feeling of isolation! Even in a crowded room I can feel so alone, and when I'm by myself I feel rejected, abandoned, left behind.
Today I came to the realization that I simply CANNOT let anyone in, and I started to wonder why. Maybe because I don't want to draw anyone into the darkness and self hatred within me. Or is it to try and protect myself from being hurt? Or maybe I just want someone to draw me out of myself, and invite me to live in THEIR heart.
Whatever it is, all I know is that I feel like an empty shell, a bitter outcast. And that the deeper I sink into this pit of despair, the more undesirable of a person I become to be around! I give up!