day 3 w/o tramadol; day 2 w/o weed; day 1 w/o alcohol; day 1 w/o overeating

i feel sick today and not sure why. according to my mom, the tramadol withdrawal should be over for me by now. i trust her judgement because she's taken it for 12 years now. however, i feel bad. i know it can't be a hangover, i only had half of a half pint of whiskey and 1 beer last night. not to mention the times i drank far more and was perfectly fine the next day. i just want to feel better by now. so tempting to have just one pill, as even that would make me feel slightly better at least. or eat to comfort myself, though my body would likely punish me for it (been having *TMI* bathroom problems).

going to have scrambled eggs w/ sriracha for breakfast (yes, breakfast at 2PM. i woke up at 11, give me a break) as everything else sounds gross and unappetizing.

i'm very depressed. it's cloudy and raining today. we're supposed to get snow tonight, and then 'arctic temperatures'. i don't want it to be winter anymore. can i please fast-forward to spring, weighing 30 lbs. less and fully detoxed/feeling good? i know that pain is part of transformation, but i'm tired of being in the fire.



i'm tired.