Hello Miktis25.

I felt similar when my father (abuser) died. He got ill and went to hospital and died overnight. Nobody expected it. So when I got the news My first reaction was relief, not shock and grief. I too thought is it bad of me...?

I thought about it for awhile and I was so relieved that it was all over. You see, though my father and I were older and live (far) apart from each other, he still carried on with his abuse, but now in a psychological way. He sabotaged every single attempt for reconciliation. He broke ever promise. He cut his only child off from his life....etc He was a full-time saboteur with me.

Now that it was all over, I felt a release of tension and dread. However, in the background I wished he learnt to let go of his fears. I was sad about that.