You know what? You are a beautiful human being made in the image of God. And no two people are alike. No one has the right to dominate another, no one. Not a boss, sibling, parent, minister, or a spouse. We are to respect the beauty inside of each other. You are a very sensative soul i pick up in your writing. I sense a lot of pain and shame that has been placed on you by others. You are not your shame, you are not a victim forever, you are a survivor and a conqueror. You have survived your past and you are an overcomer.
Go to the LGBT thread and join the social group. There are other survivors there who share your pain, your story. You are not alone my friend. (((hugs)))