Does anybody else ever look around and have the thought that mental illness is BS and you're just inherently FLAWED?

That maybe if you tried you could look at the glass as half full but you don't want to? That maybe, if you did those things you like to do, that you don't want to do right now you might feel better? Did you ever look at someone else, think that their problems are so much worse than yours and that you should just shut the fvck up and get over it?

My worst is when I compare my sister and myself. I think we had the same upbringing, same parents. She has her trials and tribulations but she also believes not EVERYTHING is a mental illness. (Of course she's been on blood pressure medication for YEARS and I'm older than her.) She has a stepdaughter with some issues and she's listened to me long enough with my struggles, but one thing she'll call me out on is "choices."

We had this conversation the other day and I copped to bad choices. But I also said that with my undiagnosed ADHD, I also didn't have the clear cognitive functioning to make GOOD choices.

Part of me feels like I create this chaos on purpose (I probably do). Hoping therapy will help me find a way out of that.

I just feel a RAGE inside right now that I am quelling with alcohol. Or maybe it's not rage, but an unexplained anxiety.

In any event, I feel fvcked up. Can you tell?