I will definitely do that and I need to start loving myself (which isn't easy and won't come overnight) before I get into anything else, otherwise I will settle, as I have little self worth at the moment. I always assume the problem lies with me when someone ends a relationship with me. Everybody knows the old 'it's not you, it's me' is a load of rubbish and I try and figure out what they didn't like about me and punish myself for doing or saying the wrong thing.

Yes I've told him on several occasion when I've felt like this in the past (it's ongoing really) but haven't been to him for a few months. I'm almost ashamed as I worry he'll think 'oh God, here we go again' but I know he's a fantastic doctor and very good to me so he wouldn't actually say that or come across that way. He tends to up my meds when I get bad and I'm currently on 40 mg a day of Citalopram, but I feel it makes me quite irritable and I can find myself getting angry at people for no apparent reason. I would never shout at anyone or hurt anyone, but I can come across rude and short and that's so not me.



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