Forgiveness is not mandatory, it is optional. When, if, how is completely individual. For some, trying to forgive brings about good things. For others, it only leads to more dysfunction.

And, I'm realizing people get too hung up on the actual word "forgiveness." Isn't the basic goal to get to a place of acceptance or OK-ness? Not the "I accept you and all the horrid things you did and let's go on vacation together and oh, let me give you a big fat hug. Gee, you're great." Rather,"The abuse really sucked, but it is no longer going to hold merciless power over me. I am going to allow light into my life. I deserve it. Irrespective of the abuser."

Now, if you are curious and truly seeking to understand why your grandmother responded the way she did, you could ask her. Not in a confrontation way, but more like, "Grandma, remember the other day when we were watching the news and there was the news story about that abused girl? I've been thinking about and am curious about your response. I'm trying to understand . . . I found myself rather hurt by that, but I'm open to hearing your perspective." Could open a can of worms, could bring about some honest conversation, could be futile, I don't know. But, it IS an option.