I was curious as to wethet or not if the use of restraint clearly had some effect on me related to trauma.i clearly remember the first time was not when i was struggling through a mental illness at all but at a doctor office at a six i refused to get a shot it took six doctor's to hold a kicking eight year old then in seventh grade I was afraid of my case managers always watching me carrying hypodermic needles in there pockets or in there draws or going to make me to do strange test.then when i got hauled off to the mental hospital i was afraid they were going to hurt me but not as afraid.i ended up in the er there for not drinking or eating.i was scared i was 16 told my mother was going to be there and she couldn't cause we were to far away.i was told i had to drink and i could leave so i drunk then they wanted to do an iv i refused i was held down restrained and drugged after i wouldn't calm down. Weirdly enough i now watch videos on YouTube of people resisting arrest and being restrained i don't know what the hell is wrong with me.ive never been raped or molested either

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