Today we were at the pool for a playdate. There were three boys playing in the pool, one boy being my son. They were playing a bit too rough, so myself and another mum intervened. I asked my son to give me the snorkel, because I noticed that he was poking another boy with it. My son refused and after I insisted that I would take the snorkel any why, he came out with, "Well I'll just drown myself then," without batting an eyelid. He then stuck his head under the water. I was shocked and I am still really shaken. I feel sick to my stomach about it. My son is 6.5 yrs old.

I spoke to a parent helpline. They suggested that he may have picked up on my recent distress about a local news story. In my area, a father killed his two young children and himself. He shot them and then drove the car off a wharf into the sea. I am often quite distressed by incidents like this, because of past DV history where my son and I were at risk. Maybe my son is externalising what he has seen? I know I haven't said anything to him about it, but kids don't miss much.

The other thing that I think may have influenced him is video games. We play video games, and he sometimes will say that he will 'kill himself off' in the game, in order to end the game. Whenever he says I get quite upset and ask him not to, so he knows this sort of talk is a button he can push.

Has anyone else experienced this with their children before? I have him booked in to see a child psychology professional next week. I am so worried and feel like an absolute failure as a mother that he could even conceptualise something like this.