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Originally Posted by Bill3
With regard to the boredom: what if you ask her about what you want her to speak about--your aunt, your cousin, her proactivity. Even if she is not proactive, by asking her about it you plant seeds.
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I very frequently change the whatever the topic is to my aunt. She seem to like talking about her.
Regarding the proactivity issue... When we proposed she gets a hobby she found that highly insulting. A while ago I suggested she takes a computer class and she said that she doesn't need it. She doesn't know how to copy/paste although she uses her computer every day...
She is doing some small proactive things but unfortunately they are not interesting to me...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
How about her work, could that be interesting to hear about? Her tastes or suggestions in music? Just as an idea: maybe she can tell you some music that her students are working on, and you can listen to someone perform it online, eg on youtube?
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She has been working at the same place for... forever. I know her tastes, they didn't change. It's one of thsoe conversations I just have to sit through. I have no idea why I am treating her this way, I am fine with listening to other people about their work...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
With regard to her making hurtful comments: this is where radical acceptance can really come in handy. This is how she is: clumsy sometimes, perhaps irritable, overly interested in you, intervening. Maybe you can come to accept that she is going to say these things--and maybe you can decide that they don't require a response? Maybe you can allow them to fly by as she moves on to the next topic?
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Last time when we were visiting her for a couple of days I tried ignoring everything that I didn't like. I was increasingly quiet and she would keep on going. When we are visiting her she likes to offer food continuously. I didn't snap, but at what cost... I wanted to jump out of the window and run far far away.