In in training too freefallphoenix so I get the concern about diagnosis - the other thing for me is that BPD sits very closely with PTSD/complex PTSD in terms of symptoms etc both of which carry less stigma. I don't know if trauma has been an issue for you but if it is, it's possible you're actually experiencing a reaction to unresolved trauma. I have PTSD and have found long term work with an integrative therapist who is experienced in working with trauma has been invaluable. Stuff that I really didn't connect back to my trauma experience has really alleviated, including crazy making relationship stuff. She doesn't "treat" me for PTSD, she helps me unpick and understand things that I really struggle with - it's slow, painstaking work but she doesn't need diagnosis to help me.