Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormyclouds
what does that mean? someone please explain.
i have heard this time n time again and i am trying to apply this to my situation but cant. My T appt is not until friday...so if someone can shed light.
a friend of several years, my neighbor...had a fall out with another friend in our group. i got caught in between both of them. i chose to step back and avoided my friend. i didnt want to choose or take sides. so i stayed quiet and avoided her for months till issue was resolved. i am socially awkward...i avoid conflict.
my friend told me i have hurt her feelings by abandoning her. i did. i apologized. i told her the truth...i am weak...i have alot of shortcomings...i was wrong...i failed her as a frend...with my heart n soul i apologzied and was very vulnerable. she mocked me in return. i keep on saying sorry to her..and she keeps on insulting me...that she has never met someone like me...the way i behaved.
ouch.
she can chose to accept my apology or reject it. but she keeps on messaging me and dragging this...and i have told her nothing but the truth ! and i have 100 percent owned it that i should have been there for her...not avoided her. and even said u have been a great freind i appreciate everything u have done for me.
her last message was so cold and left me crying ...i just told her i am not good enough like your other friends...i know that...and thats just me.
someone please tell me...is this really about me being a bad frend or is it something else?
i dont want to tell her off...we are in same neighborhood...we see each other very often in church etc.
i am just questioning my whole being right now...how do i fit into this world? among ppl? i cant handle a simple situation...i can not confront ppl...i failed as a friend when she needed me...i made a total fool out of myself ... i am so embarassed...my head is hanging in shame...ppl are so confident and strong..and intellignet...i am none of those. and imight never be...cuz my life was so screwed up...i just feel like i dont belong here...
my emotions are running very high right now..its all very raw...i am trying to soothe myself...
again...will i ever be able to hang around with normal ppl...be one of them???? i dont know
what does she want from me? apology..i have done it several times..i have explained myself again n again...
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How much time has passed since you initially apologized?? Sometimes people blow up and then realize they were childish and backtrack
It was not a great choice to avoid a friend without coming out and saying why from the start.
You probably really hurt her feelings.
However it's in the past and you can't change it.
An apology can't just erase her hurt feelings though.
I would just say " I'm sorry you can not forgive me right now. I know I hurt you but I still value our friendship. When you are ready to.move on with being friends let me know"
Understand that she may choose not to continue the friendship. You've done all you can. She may just need time to calm down.
And there is nothing wrong with you. One thing I've started to realize as I've hit.middle age is that long stable friendships like you see on TV and the movies aren't that common. Its common for people to argue,disagree, hang out less or not at all for a while, for friendships to break up over things you can not even pinpoint or explain, for people to hurt each other without meaning to, for forgiveness to be elusive.
If we have certain types of social/relationship issues we blame ourselves for not being "normal" but actually this type of thing is as normal as breathing.