it sounds like she is a high-conflict person generally. The way you handled it wasn't ideal, but her reaction is over the top. One thing that I have noticed about people who fight with people is they tend to fight with a lot of people. Some people just deal with their troubles by lashing out. If you are the type who really wants or needs to avoid conflict, you are probably not going to enjoy friendships with more volatile types. Just like if your friend is looking for friends who are willing to get in there and get involved with her fights, she is probably not going to enjoy her friendships with conflict-avoiding people.

I'd chalk it up to different styles, and you're not particularly compatible friends. She sounds like she's unwilling to understand how difficult this situation was for you, and doesn't really understand her role in the situation very well. You apologized and she chose not to accept that and to remain angry with you. She sounds like a highly argumentative person with a mean streak.

I'm sorry that this is troubling you so much, but I think it really sounds to me like you need to have friends who are more compassionate and less conflict-driven. There are many people like that out there who would make better friends for you.