Do you believe that everyone is different? Do you believe that we are born in imperfection? Do you believe that people are born without limbs or heart disorders? what about problems with their minds? what about simple things like fitting in? "loosers" stuff like that? Of COURSE! we are all different. BUT THERE IS ALWAYS STILL HOPE! luckily as humans we are able to change! So as far as not fitting in, it would be nice to have some friends. As far as evil thoughts. Anxiety might be creeping into your life. I think that you are in a good place though. Even though your living with parents. Because i can see that things could potentially get a lot worse. I think that you need to start working on confidence. And im not talking about confidence with others im talking about with YOURSELF. because once you have confidence inside of you about yourself, then people "see" that confidence and confidence with others is so easy and comes naturally with other people! I dont know if you have herd the saying,"the way we look at ourseleves is the way other people look at us too" well this is so true!!!!