THIS!!!!

This is why I happened onto PC right now. I wanted to know if anybody else ever felt this way. Angry for no reason. When you shouldn't FEEL angry. I feel like it's a reaction to feeling anxiety. I mean right now I have very little reason to feel angry and many more reasons to feel anxious.

But I was just reading something I had written months ago when I was starting therapy. What brought me there - a laundry list. One of them was the fact that when I wake up - even before my eyes open I feel angry.

I start school tomorrow. First time in 25 years. I'm not excited and I'm mad about not being excited.

And being angry is EXHAUSTING. You ever wonder what it might look like if other people could SEE how you were feeling, not by how you manifest it, but how it could look in action. You ever have one of those vacuums with the cylinder? That's what I imagine it would look like inside me on MANY days. Just all this black shyt being whipped into a frenzy. Flying all over, quickly, in circles, going nowhere. Looks pretty violent to me.