thanks for your response,

my boyfriend knows he is depressed, he also has OCD and anxiety, he is on 20mg of cictalopram but he wants to up it to 40mg as it isn't working and is making going to work painful, but he's worried as he doesn't want to become addicted to a high dosage which hell have to come off at some point in the future. he started seeing a psychotherapist but he had a bad spell due to leaving his tablets at home on a weekend away and cancelled his remaining sessions with her as he felt so down he said nothing was working and there was no point. things got pretty bad and so his doctor referred him to a psychiatrist where he was staged at a level 2 and put on a waiting list for treatment. He gets free counselling through work and has started the process of arranging it as he has just started back at work after 9 months off and finding it very hard and stressful.
i support him as much as i can, iv spent the last 6 months since i met him trying to help him and convince him to contact all the right sources to help and solely we are getting there, but i know its a long road ahead.
the problem is the whole depression seems to be about his past relationship and the pain of losing someone (her) which worries me as i don't know if its just that their relationship was so stressful she seems to be the cause of his problems now or because he's still in love with her and distraught because his illness wrecked their relationship as neither of them new. i know he feels guilty about lots of things which i understand but he says all they did was argue and she wouldn't let him do anything as she didnt trust him and because he was ill but didn't know it the angry way she dealt with things shouting etc forced him to break up with her and not in a nice way, just ignored her as he couldn't cope with her. so i don't know if he just feels lots of guilt or is kind of obsessed with her and wishes things worked out (i know he wanted to marry her and buy a house etc) i know it sounds selfish but i don't to be with someone and put so much energy into someone who's heart really lies with someone else. iv had too many awful relationships and i just don't want be used to get over her.
i know he dose love me and care a lot for me and i want to help him as much as i can but not if in 6 months he realises I'm not for him. he can't seem to work out how he feels to even tell me.