My therapist made it clear from the beginning that no matter what I did I could not change anyone else or change their response to me. No matter what I did, my being perfect would never be enough. Everything I did both consciously and unconsciously was directed at getting what I didn't get as a child. Mom and Dad would meet those primal needs, and love me unconditionally. At times she would have to remind me of this.

What we did work on was my acceptance of changing me, and helping me believe I had the control to change me alone, and live my life on my terms. She explained it as a mobile. As the first piece starts to move, the other pieces eventually follow behind. They can no longer affect me the way I use to let them. This change in thinking also got rid of a lot of physical pain. I now have physical and emotional health, and am living nicely on my terms.