I heard back from my pdoc and my very good plans may not work out as well as hoped. I have always been on a mood disorder unit where I had a lot of freedom compared to many units. This time because there is not a dr in charge of that unit after the former one left it looks like I won't be going there. And I told her that if it helps even though I do not want to go to one of the general units that I would, esp. one that lets me be a little closer to home. But doing that will change the rules. I have no idea if they'll let me have my weighted blanket. I can only hope I will be allowed to have my books and cards.

And it sounds like there hasn't been communication about getting me in yet so I have no idea when anything will happen. I guess I misunderstood my pdoc. Who apologized that I've felt that I didn't know what was going on an told me she doesn't want me to feel that nobody cares. I know she does, I just somehow (aka mixed episode) keep thinking I understand one thing from her and then I am wrong. IT's hardly the first time I've been wrong about something when mixed but it's still so hard b/c I just want to get this over with and even though I'm willing to be elsewhere I just want to be where I know the nurses and routine. If I go where she's thinking it's like a 6 bed unit so it will be even smaller and quieter probably than my 10 bed unit (although I once had a roommate who came up from that unit and she'd had a roommate admitted for sleep issues who screamed in her sleep like she was being killed....that would turn into me being a sobbing puddle outside the door even if I weren't feeling bad.). We'll see what happens. Maybe the dr on that unit will say he thinks he should be on the usual one. I just hope SOMEONE says SOMETHING and fast. I can't believe I spent last week waiting for things to happen that weren't even set into motion.

Ugh. Just so tired. Hated being mixed b/c I can't trust my thoughts and don't know how I really feel. Maybe tomorrow I'll finally know. This week is extra fun b/c I don't have a ride Wednesday or Friday. I guess we'll deal with that as it comes.