I guess this is one of the reasons I ended up here

Over a year ago I got engaged to my now ex-fiance, despite we keep in good touch nowadays, I can't be near him. I'm scared to be near him. And its not him.

I promised a year ago that I would help take care of his mother and I moved in over there. He was to leave for the army in a month and I remember how muh of a ncie time I was having with him before he left.

His mother herself has somethign she called baby bipolar (?) and back problems, and was bed ridden, but to contradict, she often took her boys out for rides and left me alone and always refused surgery.

But that's not the point.

I started in June of 06, last year. I grew kind of close to his mom and she tried changing me in so many ways, and I guess I feel kind of bad for her, she lost two of her daughters in stillborns and I was the first daugther she had, even if not blood related.

Well, months go by and we become fairly close, but I got too homesick and left for my home in September. I was happy to see everyone was well, and knew her boys could probably take care of her.

Well, in October she invites me to Georgia to see my fiance. I agree and join with them midway through the month.

So I go by, see him, and the first surprising thign she tells me is if I didn't start acting better on the train, they were going to drop me off! In the middle of Texas! She never explained what I did wrong, but she kept that threat throughout the whole trip.

So I listen to her and quiet down for a bit and I return to my hometown after a wonderul couple of days with my fiance. She flatly tells me no, I can't go back to my home, I've got to stay here now.

And this is where it goes downhill.

During the first couple of weeks she calls me in and only complains to me over some small things. A few, easily fixed behavior problems.

I fix them, but over the course of the months, she breaks up my engagement and starts making threats on my well being for no reason.

Threats like she would have the Mafia (Italian, Sicilian) family come up and take me away, move me to somewhere and create a new life for me. She has friends al lthe way up into the FBI and through te Mafia, people who could easily make me disappear one day and she kept telling me all she would tell my family is that I ran away, I was coward.

...That threat was too much. It wasn't the... disappearing and being monitored... it was the fact I couldn't stand to see all my family's hearts broken, all my friend's hearts, by that lie. A thought that would tear me up inside because they would never know a lie.

So I attempted suicide. I was starting to feel oppressed, worthless, like a piece of crap with no reason to live.

OI am not proud of the attempt, but I was out for 16 hours andf throughout the night it felt like there was something with me, maybe I was just too out of it and imagining things, something telling me I still wanted to live despite it. And I listened to it, because somewhere deep down I did not want to die just yet. And I've learned my lesson.

But days got worse, where by December I had to go home again because of those threats kept coming worse and more often, and she was starting to turn everyone I knew, everyone he knew, even the boysi n the house, against me.

So she comes up with one of the craziest stories I've ever heard.

She calls me in the room and tells me I raped my fiance.

We did it once, but it was purely consesual, I'll admit it.

So I stand there shoked and she calls all the boys (There's around five or six, five at this time) into her room and I stand up for myself for a few minutes, but quickly fater and admit to the lie.

So, she is a practicing Wicca, and tried placing a curse on me to never have children. Heartbreaking, I... always wanted to be a mother, and the boys hold no respect for me anymore, and I live with them, they constantly harrass me, telling me how horrible I am, telling me how much everyone hates me, and I just about lose it.

I have a chance to go home when I pick up a rando mcold and she decides she no longer needs me around-- after all, she wouldn't want to be sick.

But now... I feel horrible... I really abandoned her when she needed it, I tried so ahrd to keep everyone happy, but I failed, didn't I...?

It... haunts me every day I've failed her, that I've been horrible to so many people in my past, in my life... and she was one of them...