I can so relate to what you're saying... I felt absolutely devastated by losing my previous T. I was absolutely heartbroken and didn't believe I could ever feel worthwhile or lovable ever again. I went through a very long grieving period with ongoing depression and hopelessness. I still have moments of pain and grief and it's been 4 years now. I started working with another therapist about 20 months ago for eating issues after I had weight loss surgery. He's helped me work through the trauma too. I can tell you that my life has much improved since then when it felt completely hopeless. A combination of medication management and just really trying to persevere through it helped me get to a better place mentally so that I could begin accepting what had happened.

I'm sending hugs if you want them... It will get better. It just takes time.