I enjoy masturbating on a regular basis and don't feel any type of guilt or remorse about this habit. It's natural and everyone does it at some point. My wife is perfectly fine with the fact that I do it and she masturbates as well.

However, I have been somewhat confused about my masturbation sessions of late. I'm bisexual and have always been attracted to men. I haven't been with a man since I've been married and I won't cheat on my wife. Yet, I can't get the thought of performing oral sex on a man out of my head. I've done it in the past and always loved it. I particularly enjoy when a man cums in mouth. My confusion has been that when I masturbate all I can think about is eating cum. I get so turned on thinking about it and always plan to eat my own cum when I climax. However, as soon as I do, I feel disgusted and have no desire to eat my own semen. I have tasted my own cum many times and enjoyed it. I just don't understand why I feel disgusted about something that I know I enjoy.

Is it weird that I feel disgusted and is it weird that I want to do this? I'm feeling conflicted and confused and would appreciate others thoughts.