I jumped (took the risk). I really did for the good of others.

I may not have a job tomorrow. Also, I may have committed a crime, my *** could be thrown into jail. This time, it's all for real. The act of defiance was needed to call an attention to what had been going on at work for the higher up to see that my boss was kinda incompetent. That's how it turned out as I was just being honest explaining myself while I was being interrogated by the company men.

I'm not gonna say much tonight, Seriously, I may need to find a lawyer for myself tomorrow, the internet information search may not cut it, yeah.

I wasn't thinking about any real possibilities of my own demise or anything, really. I just had one mission today, which is to talk to this problematic morning shift guy, and he refused to talk showing that with his gesture/posture, that is when I did what others, in any lawful society wouldn't do. With all the good intentions and the purposes, I chose the action and did it as responsibly as I could.

Of course I can not say that I feel good,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, whatever.

Even though today is the day that I ever did something meaningful in my entire life, typing this here, having read few other posts already here tonight, this night is not all mine. There are other others for me, all of you here with physical and psychological/mental problems that persist every day, I just hope that enough helps/hopes are going around in this circle.

That is all for tonight, thanks for all the direct/indirect help all of you here on PC do, it's been just that kinda day, that kinda night tonight.

(I got a long *** post(with no paragraphs!) that I wanted to read in new members section. )

Edit: I lost the page for the new member, couldn't find it. All the post had readers and replies, that's what I wanted to see and how it was, so that's good. The reason for the editing is that to tell you that I didn't cry in that important meeting, the moments came later a few times, once while I was talking to this lady on my break, even though I'm so used to be all alone all the time, when I make my life this intense, sometimes I can't help it. There was an intense headache when I got back home, it wasn't the first time I felt this frontal lobe pressure in my head, thought about prolonging the pain but I gave myself permission to take some aspirin, they did the job. I did the job exactly the way I imagined would be, which was nothing. The readiness. I knew it was there, there weren't any rehearsing of any sorts, similar, but they were just thoughts. Things happened in the exact way I want it to be, of course I knew I could count on my recent brain activities of mine, but the timing of it. You know, I needed the exact amount of sleep last night with this a little crazed head, got to work no probs, all I'm tryna say is that there were so many factors for the timing that I didn't have any control over. I knew I would be ready provided with the right thinking and time clock of my mood. I'm just making **** up as I type here, I guess it'd be too early to tell the truth about me on this matter.

My phone's ready to receive call again, it's refilled. Who's gonna call? The jake? It has become almost a second nature not to worry, this reminds me of the infamous reality check that I may or may not need. I will come back to this subject when I come through this ordeal alive, I ended the sentence prematurely earlier, can anyone guess what I was thinking? Confidence level! I haven't read that sort of thread hear lately, self-doubt and how y'all check it everyday, like who you've got? We've all seen them right?

Are they all caged in somewhere inside of me, hidden from the sight? 'Cuz I don't feel their presence at all.

I feel neither new or old self, just the original, that's just the feeling I get. I'll go rest.