I took a look at your other threads to see what issues you've been having. I see that you are mourning a lost relationship and fearing that you will always be alone. I know how tough that can be. I didn't find someone to be with, until I was 31.

First of all, stop labeling your ex-boyfriend as your "ex narcissist boyfriend." That doesn't really tell us anything about him. I'm not arguing that he doesn't deserve the label. Maybe he does, but throwing out labels is getting you nowhere. And he labeled you as OCD. And your mother labeled you as having Aspergers. And your doctor agreed with your mother. This labeling business is very popular these days and utterly unproductive. It's one of the things people engage in as an alternative to the hard work of actually solving a problem.

You want a boyfriend. Nothing wrong with that. Start looking for one. Going on-line for this is an option. Saying that you can't go back to looking for a boyfriend because you are afraid anyone you find will leave you is a way of not solving the problem. Of course there is a chance of being hurt again. But there is also a chance that a relationship with someone else might work out. Either you take the chance or you doom yourself to being alone.

You are wondering if there is something wrong with you. Well, actually, there is. There is something wrong with everyone. That doesn't stop people from getting into relationships. There are women who have a lot more wrong with them than you have who manage to get married and have kids. (Too bad for the kids, sometimes.)

The good thing is that you know why you are depressed. You are sad about not having found the relationship you have been hoping for. You are lonely. I think that's the reason behind most depression, in one way or another. So, if you go to therapy, you have a goal to focus on. Something in your approach to relationships is not working out for you. That's what you work on.