@missbella

That sounds like an awful experience, like being gaslighted. It's a good thing you don't miss them in the end but sad you went through that in the first place.

I also experienced having to sort of turn the messages I was getting into something more productive on my own. I think what made it difficult in my case was that it actually felt really good while it was ongoing. It felt good to just allow someone else to supplement their own thoughts and priorities for my own, I didn't have to do anything, just show up and be cared for and cared about and nurtured, and every time I felt the dissonance surfacing, or started to feel mute, it was all flicked away with some convenient rationalization. It's still hard to not tell myself, "but she cared so much... but she felt this and that, but she did so much for me, how dare I say it harmed me." But she's gone, I mean I'm gone, and the whole pageant of promises and good intentions came crashing down as I left... I guess there's lots of ways to harm a person.

It really is that "us and them" sort of something about therapy that gets me. It is so infuriating and demeaning and insulting and it has a terrible potential to turn bad when there are real grievances that need to be discussed. Seems there are very few Ts with the integrity to not abuse their leverage in those situations.

Thanks for your support.