Baybrony,

I had such a similar experience with a woman in my congregation about 12 years ago that it gave me an eerie, unsettled feeling reading about your experience. While some of the details of your story differed, what you went through with your spiritual "sister" mirrored many of the things that took place between me and my friend. I'm so sorry you went through that, and sorrier that it cost you your Chrisitan faith.

I also had a crisis in my faith as a result of the betrayal I experienced by my friend. But I've been trying to hang onto my faith, knowing that it is imperfect people themselves, and not God, who failed me in my time of need. Still, I totally understand how devastating it feels to put such a great deal of faith and love in someone who says they love us in return, and who we trust would be there for us if we fall into crisis. To experience a crisis then, and not get the support you need can feel devastating. I felt emotionally destroyed myself. It took me 7 years before I could talk about it without crying. This woman had been like a mother to me, or at least I felt that way toward her. We had been close for 5 years.

For a long time, I didn't think I would ever get over what happened. I didn't think I could ever think about it without feeling that stab of pain and grief and having the whole thing flood over me again. But the pain is largely gone now. It does fade, but very slowly. Now that I am finally able to look more objectively at what happened, I have learned a great deal of valuable information the will help me avoid repeating that terrible experience.

If you want to know more about it, feel free to pm me. I hope that you will reach a time and place where you will be ready to love and trust someone again, and that person turns out to be worthy of it.

Peaches