I met a really good man in the middle of last year. Before that, I had pushed people away and kept to myself. My longest "relationship" was a month. However, I really enjoyed this man's company romantically and we started a relationship and he became my best friend and the only person I could really be myself around.

He asked me to move in. I told him that I would trial it. During that time I would sometimes spend nights away and things seemed to go okay. He talked about marriage and kids and growing old together.

Then the doubts came. I didn't want kids. I didn't want marriage. I wanted to travel and work and buy my own apartment and not leave employment to raise a family. I told him this and he told me to think about it, but that he wanted kids and couldn't stay in the relationship if it wasn't what I wanted. I agreed to think about it.

I agreed to move in with him officially about 5 weeks ago. I don't know if I felt pressured but I was scared he'd end things if I said no.

Now I am feeling anxious and crying all the time. I am not eating properly, always exhausted (he is more active then me and I try to keep up by going places with him, he doesn't like I when I go to sleep to early so I try to stay up), I've lost 5 kilograms and weigh as much as I did as a teenage. Worst of all there is a knot in my stomach and I don't feel love or any affection for my partner. This makes me feel guilty, especially when he talks about wanting to spend the future with me.

I don't know what's wrong. I've been diagnosed with depression in the past, I don't if it's that, if I'm terrified about the relationship, I don't know what to do. I've never been in a relationship before and don't know if this is normal.

He is a very supportive person, and I know the problem lies with me, not him. I just wish I knew what the problem is. What should I do? I'm 26 year old female.