I totally get where you're coming from, the last few Christmases have had the same effect on me. Almost to the point that I'm beginning to dread Christmas because I know how I'm going to feel afterwards.

I think for me it's the yo yoing between feeling happy & sad. Not sure how to explain it. I go through periods of depression, but there are close friends who know this, and even if I am feeling down being with those people lifts me. The problem being that the more uplifted I feel, the harder the crash the next day, or day after....and at Christmas because of the nature of the season it's an almost constant see saw of happy -v- down, and then when Christmas day has been & gone with all it's own stresses of the day - well the crash happens and I find it difficult to stop it happening & hard to climb out of.

This year I joined here shortly after Christmas because I felt it coming on again, and I have to be honest it seems to have really helped because I have somewhere to come, and I can either get help, or try & give help and at the moment that seems to work. I have also made a point of making arrangements to see the friends I have mentioned before the end of Jan so everytime I feel the slipping backwards feeling I focus on that and that seems to help too. I've written it on my calendar so I have a visual connection to refer to reminding me of what I have to look forward to. Again that seems to help when things are going awry.

Perhaps you could try doing something similar? Getting a couple of things planned, one for towards the end of Jan, maybe another for the end of Feb? Doesn't need to be expensive. It's just having something you enjoy to look forward to.

Hope this helps a little. Even if it's only knowing you're not alone in how you feel. Take care.