What is your goal in going to a therapist? If you just want someone to talk to, then find a friend. You can use a therapist to have someone listen to you, but how will that relieve the disappointment you feel about not having a family of your own.

You are pretty clear about what you want, and I see no reason why you shouldn't go after getting it. What we get in life isn't always a matter of what we deserve. Awful things sometimes happen to very nice people, and good things sometimes happen to miserable, rotten people. Generally, here is how you get what you want: You work hard to make it happen.

You wanted to have a boyfriend and you did find one. But he turned out to be a selfish, uncaring man who wasn't very nice to you. So what did you do? You wasted a few years hanging around with this guy. Life goes by fast. You don't have time to waste like that. When you meet a guy and he turns out to be a liar and a cheat and manipulative, then you dump him and move on. It shouldn't take 4 years to figure out where he's coming from. Either a guy shares your goals, or he doesn't. This guy was never really offering you what you wanted. You knew that after the first six months. But you kept wasting time. Meanwhile, you could have been meeting someone decent, but you were not available for that. You were too busy with Mr. Wrong.

Here's another way you are wasting your precious time. You are paying attention to what other people think about your goals. You worry about what judgements they make. Who cares what they think? The only person you need to answer to is you. You're a self-supporting woman making her way in the world. You have a right to go after anything you want.

No therapist can tell you "what to do." The best a therapist can do is to point out how what you are doing is not working for you. You want to meet an eligible batchelor, then get out there and look. Go on-line. Go to a pub. Join a club. It's unlikely that some nice guy is going to knock on your door and say, "Here I am." True - some women never do find love. But the odds of it happening increase the more you work at it. You're not going to find a guy in a therapist's office.

Nobody can "make you feel anything." If your therapist tells you that you need to accept being alone, then stop wasting time with that therapist. Darryl Hannah is an American actress diagnosed with having Autistic Spectrum disorder. She's had plenty of boyfriends. Maybe you do have some features to your makeup that make socializing a bit extra difficult. So you look for a therapist who can help you figure out how to work around that. The therapist doesn't decide what your goals in life should be, or what you should be happy with. You decide that. If the therapist can't help you achieve what you are aiming for, then one of two things is true. She's the wrong therapist . . . OR: therapy just isn't turning out to be very useful for you. So move on. For some people, therapy just isn't effective at teaching them what they need to learn. So move on and experiment with life.

Your mother can't figure this out for you. No therapist can either. A lot if life is trial and error. Often, we have to try a lot of things that don't work, before we hit on what does.