You know, I have to just hand it to you for manning up and coming out to your wife about this other woman, even though nothing happened and she was just passing thoughts. Well done for that, your wife is very lucky to have you be so loyal and open to her.

I think the only issue here is that you havent tried to recently cut ties with this other women. Yes we think about others, fancy others and can be attracted to other people when in relationships (particularly when settled with someone for so long!). However, all your desires are point towards an imaginary fantasy relationship with her. You barely know her, say, if you were ever together, how would you know if you was right together? if you had the same outlook on life, clicked together, if the lust you feel for her would actually ever turn to love? You don't!

i think the righteous step to take for your marriage would be to take a step back and control yourself towards her (even though you probably dont want to because the fantasy is too good! even ive been there LOL), pull some self-restraint out of your back pocket (i.e - stop facebook stalking!), because at the end of the day only you are the one who can put a stop to it.

If you do believe that maybe you are missing some longing in your marriage, that can be fixable. Find the fantasy in your own life. You will probably find that it is much better in reality, that it ever was in your head!!