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Old Jan 11, 2016, 09:10 PM
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raspberrytorte raspberrytorte is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 6,676
Quote:
Originally Posted by RxQueen875 View Post
I didn't know I also had BPD until my lawyer got my records for my SSD case! I was PISSSSSED. Some of the stuff they wrote about me was quite disturbing. Like finding out that a group of highschool girls are talking behind my back. That's how I felt. You asked why this year was severe and not last year. Dx's can change over night depending on your mental state. Plenty of days I've woken up and could tell I was in a mixed episode when I went to bed fine. It's the nature of the disease. There's no promises on how you will feel the next day when you're not stable. Before I started trileptal I was having mood swings so bad it was like flipping a light switch. Yea it's not fun. Don't worry about what they wrote about you then. What's important is how you're feeling now.
Thanks.

I do agree with the other part of my diagnosis, so at least I have that going for me!

And I guess I can see how it would appear I was in a mixed episode. I spent some time crying, then I spent some time very angry and didn't know what to do because I had a roommate (if I didn't have a roommate I would have spent my time crumpling up pieces of paper and throwing it all around my room, like I did last time I was inpatient) and I ended up self harming, which is something I never do, and then I was seemingly okay and talking the pdoc to death, and I had a inflated sense of self esteem and made friends with everyone, which is also something I don't do because I'm normally very shy.

It just wasn't the same as last time I was mixed.
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