I would think that after a lifetime of years, one would be free of fear. One would also think that a lifetime of therapy would have helped me get past my fears.

I watch grandkids two to three days a week (9, 6, 5 yrs.) Normally, there is never any yelling at children in my daughter's home. Once in a while...rare...my son in law's temper shows through. Usually he is very frustrated with something he is doing in his home-office, where he spends most of this days writing...frustrations such as computer issues, grading papers, dumb first year students...things like that. Today was one of those days. He has a very strong personality. Both parents in the home are secondary educators and have an excellent grasp on what is age-appropriate for the children and consider this before "reacting" to irritations.

To get to my point...he hollered at the 6-1/2 yr old today. His frustration at all the interruptions today had gotten the best of him. Of course, this was devastating to my grandson, who sobbed and who is not accustomed to rejections from either parent.

It is this kind of stuff that brings me immediately back to my childhood and my son. I feel riveted in place. I feel like I will be next. I know in my head that this is silly, but the feeling is there nonetheless. I spent the better part of the past seven years becoming comfortable with my son in law...a male being. He is always kind to me.

Does the fear of the next incident ever end?? Ever??
This is why I am still alone and single after 22 years!!

Carolyn