MP, as you noted in another thread, we seem to have had a similar experience. For me it was like a glimpse of everything I ever wanted, the classic "golden fantasy" thing where a single relationship fulfills all needs, heals all wounds, and you are understood as never before. Was seductive and addictive at the time, a total disaster in hindsight. Unconscious collusion between two people desperately chasing needs, textbook co-dependency, nobody minding the shop.

I not only feel indifference to life, I have been more or less paralyzed for a year and a half now. I also have debilitating chronic illness, but the therapy thing has broken something. Was as if the universe played the cruelest ever practical joke. And I cannot make sense of it, along the lines of "everything happens for a reason". Seems like a senseless torment. A "humiliating kick in the crotch" when I was already down for the count.

Hope you can find your way through. Do you have some sense of the core issues that were driving you?