I lost a job today!

I ain't got much money saved up and no unemployment insurance to collect. I won't last long if I don't make an action. Right now, I'm trying to make them fire me. I want the proof that I'm an irresponsible asshole who can't keep a job, in writing!!

More than anything, I need the time, the time in the future with no guarantee that that will be there, future security, that is something I forge it through every single moments on my own.

How many of you have seen someone crying badly and thought about it, took some understanding of other's crying with you? I once shared why I cry from time to time when I started posting more in this forum in the past. I'm facing this dreaded unemployment, how scared it used to make me, during and after, whenever.

I need more and more knowledge, I want the time back where I could've studied all the philosophical thoughts that could've helped me all through my life. Let me get back to the crying. Maybe this is because I been on my own all my life? I don't know, it's just that it's almost unthinkable to think crying as someone's weakness, I haven't slightest idea why some people think like that.

Shiiiiiit! This feels great, finally, facing this another unemployment, did I ever tell you that I'm so unemployeable? With no money in the bank? Guess what? I've just decided to celebrate this with a pack of cigs and ,,whatever, let's do both, a brown bottle and a can of beer. The moment I was waiting for? nah, that's a lie but it sure feels like it.

If anyone out there know me like that I'd been chasing my own shadow, this indefinability of my self, realization and actualization that awaits.

Let me be honest here, a true ****, a biggest and the illest and the most realest asshole in this forum. You BP1 and BP2 too. Whatever I see here, man. This kinda make me think again, with a fresh pair of eyes, what bipolar really mean to me. Some may wonder why I still post here, all because of the unreliable diagnosis from this lady doctor.

Nah, no hauling *** or assholing in this post. I like everyone 'cos they help me.

I got a day to get ****ed up, man!!!! How the **** long have I been sober? Pardon my French here, Autonomy muh****er! The day's still young. I wish I had a bong with me. gotta go get cleaned up first.

Thank you freedom, I will give my all to the life that I was given, to the responsibilities. My thanks and kudos to you all fine people of PC has to wait, I'll be around as long as this internet's up, and beyond.

Can't wait to start drinking! Vodka too should be on the list. Wish I had a company though.