Okay, so he gas a job and works hard. That's nice. $2500/ month is enough money for two people to survive on, even if one of them does't work . . . as long as they live simply. So he got himself an apartment he couldn't afford. (It gobbles up half of his paycheck. So, yeah, he did bite off more than he could chew. He decided he could somehow manage to support an unemployed woman. It turns out he can't . . . not at the level of comfort that he and she want to live at. So you are trying to figure out what needs to change. Why are you putting yourself in charge of doing his thinking for him?

He has meltdowns when he doesn't get what he wants when he wants. Well, isn't that too bad.

Maybe, he is not lazy. But he is obviously immature and irresponsible. And his girlfriend is the same same. These two need to wind up living in their car. That will straighten them out. But it will never happen. They have enough enablers to make it unnecessary.

Their apartment is extra nuce and beautifully furnished. So the girlfriend is probably lookimg around and thinking, "Hey, there is plenty of room here for a baby. That's what I need next. Might as well start when I'm young."

There are plenty of men with an income of $2500/month who are successfully supporting themself, a wife and a baby. It can be done with enough belt-tightening. But these two don't have to figure anything out for themselves. Her mother and his two sets of parents have taken over the job. When you prevent him from failing, you rob him of what life is willing to teach him.

Whether his wife works or not us his problem, not yours.

BTW, handing out twenty bucks, here and there, is not appropriate. And he needs a lot more than that to keep his boat afloat. Don't subsidize a stupid situation. Let them sink or swim. If her mom and his mom want to hand out money and stuff to support these two, that's between the moms and thus couple. Don't feel you have to kick in a car to keep up with the other parents. Maybe your husband feels the need to do this car thing. So let him, but hang back and stay out of the craziness. Then you'll be the one sane person in this whole farce.