Every human being has a tendency to "escape" if things are unbearable and seems unending. I don't know your situation but I think you need to let yourself to breathe. Do not think of it too much as our mind are very specialize at magnifying things. It's easier said than done but that's how you will find peace in which sometimes we are just overwhelmed.

Find a friend/family member whom you trust the most and tell your situation if you can't openly have it here. We are not born to have in this life alone. Sometimes, help is just what we need to be saved.