I feel like I'm just at this point myself. Sometimes I'm relieved, other times I panic feeling like I'm "losing him." But I know I'm just losing the fantasy of him. For me too, it ebbs and flows. It's like a roller coaster still only the drops aren't as long and hard and parts are suddenly flat, I can catch my breath finally. I feel like it's been a rollercoaster of mourning and loss, or acknowledgement of it. Riding high on feeling loved and then crashing and feeling like the loneliest person on earth. Maybe I'm finally bored picking at this wound, I'm leaving it alone and now it's scabbing over to leave a nice scar.