You are depressed, and you have done a very good job of explaining why. You want to keep this man, but you don't want to work toward the same goals, as he is aiming for.

He was hoping that, once you moved in, you would change and come to want what he wants. Maybe you were hoping he would change. One of you is going to have to, or this needs to end. Nobody gets to have everything exactly as they want it. But you two are really far apart.

I don't think you are going to be happy living in the midst of a power struggle, which is what this could turn into. Did you relinquish your apartment? If so, you may very much miss having that place of refuge to retreat to. You may be a person who will always need her own place.

Based on the time line you laid out above, you have not known this man for even a full year. There's your problem right there. You got way, way too involved too soon. I would discourage any woman from marrying a man she has not known for at least a whole solid year. Even then, the first step is engagement, and then you wait awhile more. Giving up your apartment and moving in with him has amounted to as drastic a change, nearly, as if you had married him.

This talk about who wants kids and who doesn't is a smokescreen. Your real concern is that you don't really know if you even want to be with this man longterm. You're starting to realize that he is a bit controlling and has plans to mold you into what he wants. It's not normal for a man to want some girl he has only known for 6, or 7, or 8 months to move in with him. You're starting to realize that and it is scaring you. You made a move prematurely and now you regret it. That actually reflects intelligence on your part. You lack experience with people in general and with men in particular. He may have realized that. It may even be part of why he chose you. This man may not be quite such a good man as you have imagined. When one person becomes the "only person" you can be yourself around, that's not such a healthy thing. How old is this guy?

If you have loving family backup, then talk to them and say you need to come stay with them for awhile. If not, then start shopping for a little place of your own, even if it is just a furnished room. You need to get out of where you are at. You do not feel safe there. This is not how love feels, even when two people have different ideas about having kids. This guy, very quickly, got you to give up your independence and put yourself very under his control. He met so much of your emotional need, and then subtly threatened to drop you, if you didn't move in with him. That's not so nice. I very strongly suggest you get some counseling right away. I think there is a lot about this man that you don't quite understand.

You do not need anyone's permission to pack your stuff and leave. You don't need for him to be okay with you leaving. You don't need to establish that the two if you have incompatible goals. If you don't like being there - and, clearly, you don't - that is all the reason you need. Stop trying to come up with a narrative that you think makes sense. Staying where you don't want to be makes no sense. You owe him nothing.