Jupi, life can be so excruciatingly painful at times . . I am so sorry you're feeling such despair.

One breath at a time, one minute at a time, one day at a time, OK? Breathe.

You do not have to fix everything at this moment. At this time you just need to honor your feelings, allow them to express, and allow yourself to experience the self-compassion and self-love that you deserve. This, too, shall pass.