When I was growing up my mom would often treat my unhappiness as a problem to be solved. She didn't (or couldn't) just give me a hug or something. I wasn't really aware of it at the time, but I now realize that I felt rejected as a person for expressing how I felt. When you are sad or something you want the freedom to be sad, express it, and be accepted. Because I felt rejected personally, I feel like it's not ok to be myself emotionally. So I struggle to feel some emotions and express them, and feel ashamed when I do. The big problem with that is that I never learned how to feel them or express them in a healthy way. It's kind of hard to do that when you are 41. I need to feel sad, or whatever, but I can't feel it naturally in a healthy way, and I don't know how to show it appropriately. I figure the only way to learn is do my best, and not get down on myself if I get it wrong.