Yeah. It is amazing how we feel ashamed even when it wasn't our fault.

Mentalization. Maybe that is what you mean about how verbal expression can be hard. The ability to mentalize when the attachment system is active. There is some stuff on that... I'll see if I can find it...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/en...t=AbstractPlus

there was a special edition of some journal (can't remember which one - sorry) that was on the mechanisms of change in psychotherapy for borderline personality disorder. you might find it interesting... perhaps...