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waggiedog · Jan 12, 2016, 04:13 PM

. Hi everyone and many thanks for your always honest messages. I def agree, if we can force ourselves to even walk over the threshold of our doorsteps and just look around, it's a step forward. I deliberately said getting over the threshold of our "safe" place because I know for sure some of you have mentioned not just their various eating disorders, but also other debilitating mental challenges/problems. For instance depression, which can occur either because of or alongside eating disorders, which I'll call ED's from here on. I know when I've been on a horrible binging run, I hate going outside, just want to hide my hideous self away. I feel as though everybody somehow can see by how gross I look that I've been pigging out, I get ashamed and acutely embaressed. I can't even look in a mirror. When I'm depressed theres actually a LOT of difference in how I look and yes, I HAVE been told this by well meaning people. . On a "good run" I.e. Restricting greatly on what and how much I eat, rigidly sticking to my delegated bland soft food. Like skinny shop bought soup for lunch n potatoes chips (2 small bags) or cheese and biscuits at night. That's it, no meat as I try and be veggie. I don't for once instance advise any of you reading to follow this style of eating, you need to find your own way, that suites your system and way of life. I can't eat crunchy foods as my teeth are sooooo frail due to damage my years of bulimia. My bones are brittle due to oestoprosis, again bulimia and anorexia. I couldn't have been a Mum, damage from my anorexic years. My sometimes severe depression, self harm and solitary existence I learnt only 6 years ago (after 34 years of suffering) is down to a condition called Borderline Personality Disorder, something I wouldn't wish on anyone. If anyone is ever in need of a listening ear and who won't be shocked, I'll be very happy to chat, if you want to rant/vent, then that's fine too!! Bye for now, X