I struggle with inconsistencies.

The one I come across most is this. A person describes horribly abusive parents, and then says 'I know they love me'

And ya know what I want to say?

'Wake up, they do not love you at all, who are you kidding!! they are unfeeling narcissist/sociopathic/psychopathic b###ards!! They are not capable of love.'

Personally I spent a life time trying to be good trying to ingratiate myself, always desperately desperately trying to please mother. If only I was good enough, worked hard enough mother would love me
Right?

WRONG.

One day I sat and googled something I just could not understand.
Why does my mother hate me?
A website popped up.
Daughters of narcissistic mothers I ignored it, nothing to do with me.

Then it popped up again and I started to read.
An epiphany.
I recognized my mother. My mother was one of these. Mother was a narcissist!

My mother was incapable of love, my mother did not love me and never would.

I wasn't upset I was relieved so relieved! None of this was my fault, I was not faulty! She was. That cold, spiteful, self absorbed, lying, manipulating b##ch was faulty not me.
No longer would I tie myself into knots trying to please this creature who was impossible to please. It had all been a waste of effort and time. There was no love to earn, she was incapable of love.

And because it was a relief for me to be aware of the truth I want to inform others.
You get people ranting on about 'wonderful' parents who then go on to describe nothing but abuse.

But I don't tell them. I guess they don't want the truth. Its too painful.

When I found out what mother was I cried for a month.
I was unloved.
But then I felt better, free. I didn't have to bother with her any more.