That's what I'm trying to decide. I don't really know if I want to live or die. The reasons to live are starting to matter less and less every day. Some days I think I may want to, but most I just think I want to kill myself. I will think all day on what the best way to do it would be.
It's pointless to seek professional help if I don't even know what I want. I just know I am tired of feeling this way.