Quote:
Originally Posted by Alone & confused
I wish I could work too! Maybe I would feel less of a waste of space if I could be a productive member of society again. Not to mention the financial help it would bring. There are SO MANY THINGS I wish I could change! I keep thinking "if I could get just ONE break, change ONE thing about my circumstances, it would open the door to a new life and new opportunities!" I keep tearing my proverbial house apart, looking for the "key" to unlock the door that's holding me captive to my own prison. But when you need to use your MIND to make decisions, to figure things out, and your mind is BROKEN......what do you do then??
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I struggle day and night, endlessly and obsessively, looking for that same key. My wife doesn't 'get it'. She's a self proclaimed Buddhist but she exhibits little compassion for me. My T , pdoc and primary have advised me to focus on myself and not waste time on trying to deal with her. I'm actually doing it and fwiw, following that advice has given me a tiny bit more control over my life. It's a hard road we're all on. Lao Tzu, the Chinese philosopher, wrote, "If you're depressed, you're living in the past. If you anxious, you're living in the future. If you are calm, you are living in the moment." That moment doesn't have to be good, but claim it and hold onto it. It's part of the unique, one of a kind person, each of us are and to deny a part of yourself is to deny your whole being and existence.