Hi, my name is Jeff and i've been struggling with anxiety and depression ever since i was little. Im 19 years old right now and about to turn 20 and am a 2nd year student in a pharmacy program. Almost every classes i have attended (dating back to high school) it seems as if every teacher looks at me like they really detest my presence in their class. Im an introvert but i do have a reasonable amount of friends and i wouldn't say im too quiet...I only speak when i feel the need to or if i really want to say something. However, ever since i started school this semester, i have been getting dirty looks from some of my professors and it really hurts me because i try to smile and be as nice and friendly as i can be. Alot of strangers (not only teachers) also look at me like that and if im around people they avoid me like the black plague. Last semester was one of my most darkest period in my life that i have ever gone through. I have my own apartment and am going to university in Boston which is away from my family down in New York. I try to be as strong as i can be and i trust God to see me through. I sometimes wonder if im an abomination or something the way that people look at me. It hurts me because i care alot about others even to the extent of wanting them to be happy at my expense (I know it probably is an idiotic way to think but thats the type of heart i have). Ive been struggling with actually getting out of my apartment and going to classes because of this fear especially last semester where it literally took a miracle for me to pass my classes. Im normally a 3.2 student but last semester i got a 2.2.....its tough for me to even believe that there is hope but i still do believe there is. If there is any advice, help, or tips that you guys can give me i will forever be grateful. I feel like my purpose in life is to help others but how can i help them if i myself am not well? Its very tough for me to be positive right now although im trying to alot more than i have last semester. Thank you for reading this and im keeping you all in my prayers as well. God bless you.