Jupi,

I never considered myself "normal". I always saw myself as an person far from modern day man. I would consider myself gifted and broke at the same time. My anxiety defines who I am as a person. It helps me enjoy my passion but it also destroys me from the inside out. To control my anxiety is my mission, not to eliminate it. Suicide is irreversible, its a decision not to be taken likely. If you posted on this forum you are pondering something, maybe even looking for re-enforced/expected answer. You will only find the most caring people on the planet full of wisdom to share. The things that went through my head while I was at my worse were no where near the truth. Please, reach out to someone you love or care deeply for.